How times change as the years unfold. Things speed up, patience falls, mistakes are made faster, lessons are learned more slowly, and with each generation, it seems that what was once valued goes out of style.

Commitment is one of the things, as it has become more important in recent decades. There was a time when kids poked their fingers with pins, squeezed out a drop of blood and joined fingertips to become blood brothers—friends for life.

Can you imagine such a practice in today’s world of HIV and other blood borne diseases? Any kid who would become interested in the notion of blood brotherhood would have to execute the pact in deep secrecy and at the risk of severe sanction if caught. Sort of like the way sexual experimentation happened among teens once upon a time.

There was a time when loyalty was highly valued as a quality of character. In business, the pact between worker and employer was understood as a long-term promise of partnership unless and until an egregious act of malice or error provided indisputable reason for severance.

Those days are long gone. The convulsive economic expansion and contraction that has taken place in fits and starts over the past two decades has recast employment expectations. A recent Ipsos study found that only one in five employees expressed loyalty to their current employer. This drops to just one in three in companies that have recently frozen wages or downsized.

People no longer expect to stay in any job for more than a few years and many don’t want to. Workers in the IT industry are most transient, thanks in part to the rapid and constant change of technologies, but also due to the intellectual curiosity and restlessness of many in the industry.

On the social front, current divorce statistics in the United States range from 36 to 50 percent depending on the source. Divorce rates among younger couples remains substantially higher than among their elders. The average length of a marriage that ultimately ends in divorce is roughly eight years.

Today’s preoccupation with living in the moment, going for the gusto and being all you can be makes it hard for the idea of commitment to gain any popularity. Why would we staple ourselves to something that might not work after all? When something better comes along, we want to be free to grab the opportunity. Such windows open and close with incredible speed! No sense being hemmed in by a current responsibility.

So commitments you thought you made—to job, partner, or a career—didn’t pan out. You feel bad. Maybe there’s a twinge of guilt? Maybe it’s irritation at having been pressured to say yes when all along you would have preferred to say no? Maybe it’s genuine remorse because circumstances changed in ways you could not control?

Whatever the reason for breaking a commitment, the aftermath brings a feeling of letdown. Your sense of self takes a hit. Tiny disappointments add up over time to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and gloominess.

And you long for something more stable. More certain. More satisfying.

Something like commitment? That something that calls on the best of you; that requires careful consideration and thoughtful decision-making? Commitment is a promise you make to yourself to do something that is important to you. When you make it with firm resolve, it becomes an animating force that serves to narrow your focus and direct your energies. The “live for today!” distractions that surround you fade in importance when you decide where you want to go.

Close your eyes. Envision yourself as happy and fulfilled. Make the decision to be that way. Now create a series of attainable goals—baby steps—to prove to yourself that you are capable of achievement. Notice your energy level. It feels good, doesn’t it?

Tell yourself a strong story about commitment and feel the pride that comes with making a certain decision. As you fulfill your promise to yourself, you will find that you are acting with greater confidence and conviction. Protect your progress; it will be tender at first. But stay true and watch what happens. Commitment is energizing!