How many times on a given day do you feel yourself tempted to punch somebody’s lights out? Not a very gentle question or happy way to start an article, I’ll grant you, but what’s your answer?

It seems as though the world is getting louder and meaner, or maybe we simply have more opportunities to witness bad behavior thanks to cable and satellite TV and the Internet. Reality TV gives us all sorts of tough behavior in the form of entertainment and it spills over into real life.

How many times, for example, do you hear someone screaming at another—a politician, a supervisor at work or a mother of a young child in a grocery store who can’t keep his juvenile hands to himself?

How many clenched jaws do you encounter in a week? How many aggressive drivers? How many times do you feel like you want to explode but dare not? A teacher told me recently that she often wants to pound her fist on the table and spit, but instead she smiles and nods her head.

We all know the dangers of hypertension, yet we live in a world gone mad, where keeping one’s sanity is no easy feat. Of course, we’re tense!

Did you know you have the power to change this? You do. Do you believe that you can counteract the craziness and nastiness of your world? You can! In fact, I invite you to start right now. Let’s try a simple experiment.

Right this minute, while you’re reading, reach for something gently like a cup of coffee or tea, a notepad or a pen. Next, gently draw your hand across your face and down your neck. Now gently run your fingers through your hair.

What does this feel like? At what speed are you moving? Notice what is happening inside your mind and your body. It’s quieter, isn’t it? It’s softer, somehow. It’s more peaceful.

People who try these simple exercises are often amazed at how quickly they can change their emotions, even if only for a brief moment. If you were able to be gentle just now, you claimed incredible power over your harried mind, your frazzled nerves and your distracted attention. This power is with you all the time and can be called up whenever you choose.

You may not have ever learned about this. You may not give it any thought in the midst of your busy day. Most of us tend to react to circumstances rather than giving ourselves a chance to respond.

The very word “gentle” is not one we hear much about. In fact, many people see gentleness as weakness and submission. We prefer words like strong, tough, resilient, competitive, committed and focused. These are the attributes we try to develop in order to gain success. I even write about them in my book!

But gentleness has a power that runs deep and can literally transform lives. Repeat the little experiment above. Notice how gentleness can soothe you. It can do far more.

Extended toward others, gentleness can create a sense of safety and reassurance, redirect angry conversations and reveal solutions to everyday hassles. Far from conveying weakness, it bestows a sense of control and confidence. One of Aesop’s Fables demonstrates this beautifully:

“THE WIND and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveler coming down the road, and the Sun said: ‘I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveler to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger; you begin.’ So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveler. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveler wrap his cloak around him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveler, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.”

“KINDNESS AFFECTS MORE THAN SEVERITY.”

In the same fashion, gentleness affects more than force.